On the subway to work, some lowlife ripped ass in my train and i literally almost died. It was so bad I still smelled it as I got to my desk in the office, just horrid..I might have to take a personal car from now on. Work was bland, same old shit today...
After work, a bunch of us and some interns went to Uysses for some drinks (Milk and Honey will have to wait until tomorrow night). We all had a bunch of rounds and were getting rowdy when people from rival firms started to give us some looks. Fuck em...we were just trying to have a good time...plus we all make a lot more money than they do. It was my turn to buy so I put that on my platinum...the $2,000 tab will only cut into 1/300th of my bonus so I didn't really mind.
On the subway back to my place I was sitting next to this asian woman who ddin't shut the fuck up...she was talking to herself the entire ride up, i'm pretty sure she was sleep talking. Fucking subways. I should have learned from my trip downtown.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
The Land of Milk and Honey
July 4th turned out to be a wash. It first started with a nice bbq at a friend's house up in Westchester. I actually met some fellow bankers there...this one guy, Harvard grad, was tellingme that he works at some boutique firm doing pitchbooks ans models all day. Once he said he worked at a boutique firm, I completely lost interest and didn't hear another wordhe said the rest of the day. If you want to get my attention when talking about business you got to at least work for a tier two bank, if not a top BB. Of course it had to rain and ruin our yacht plans, so we just watched the fireworks from this public field, which made me cringe in disgust.
On the drive back to the city, my buddy driving the car was bragging about his new high score in brickbreaker. I bet that I would beat his score in one game, so while he was driving I took his blackberry and started to play. I was a little more than halfway to his score with 7 lives left, when the game encountered an error. Today has just been full of bad luck, I told him it was time to dump the 88 hundo and go for the curve.
Tomorrow night should be much better. I made reservations for Milk and Honey...and yes I do have the phone number...and no I'm not giving it to anybody. Sasha will cook us up some nice $15 cocktails and hopefully I can forget about today's misery. If I see one hipster at that bar I'm going to go crazy. Where the hell are all the true yuppies in this city...sometimes I wish it were still the 80's.
On the drive back to the city, my buddy driving the car was bragging about his new high score in brickbreaker. I bet that I would beat his score in one game, so while he was driving I took his blackberry and started to play. I was a little more than halfway to his score with 7 lives left, when the game encountered an error. Today has just been full of bad luck, I told him it was time to dump the 88 hundo and go for the curve.
Tomorrow night should be much better. I made reservations for Milk and Honey...and yes I do have the phone number...and no I'm not giving it to anybody. Sasha will cook us up some nice $15 cocktails and hopefully I can forget about today's misery. If I see one hipster at that bar I'm going to go crazy. Where the hell are all the true yuppies in this city...sometimes I wish it were still the 80's.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
More On Subways
I hate it when homeless people beg for money on the subway. It gives me great discomfort when dirty homeless men hit me up for change when I am stuck and cannot move. I can tolerate it in the village because I can just lift my chin up high and walk away ignoring that they ever exist. Thank god I live in Murray Hill, I don't ever have to deal with that shit around my home.
This girl saw me on the train today, and gave me this look...I mean who wouldn't I'm a successful ibanker. So she walks over and stands right next to me looking at my work id which is clipped to my belt. I saw her jealous eyes when she read the name of the firm that I work for. I could have brought her home tonight but she was some lower east side hipster...and I tend not to associate with those kind. If I asked her what an LBO was she would have told me it was some hipster band or something.
I love America. Instead of working on more M&A models, I will be drinking beer, grilling, and watching fireworks on a yacht...that's the life right there. It will probably be the first beer all week that I have had outside of Ulysses. Happy July 4th...only in America.
This girl saw me on the train today, and gave me this look...I mean who wouldn't I'm a successful ibanker. So she walks over and stands right next to me looking at my work id which is clipped to my belt. I saw her jealous eyes when she read the name of the firm that I work for. I could have brought her home tonight but she was some lower east side hipster...and I tend not to associate with those kind. If I asked her what an LBO was she would have told me it was some hipster band or something.
I love America. Instead of working on more M&A models, I will be drinking beer, grilling, and watching fireworks on a yacht...that's the life right there. It will probably be the first beer all week that I have had outside of Ulysses. Happy July 4th...only in America.
Monday, July 2, 2007
The Subway Chronicles
I hate them. The smell of urine and minority when I get on the train in the morning is just a great start to a very long day. I would walk all the down to Wall Street from my Murray Hill apartment if I had the time, and taking a taxi is out of the question. The only private ride I'll ever take is the company car with a "professional," legal driver.
The dirty NYC subway system is full of hipsters and thugs, two types of people I would never associate with. The only relief I get is seeing the banker with the Goldman Sachs mini-duffel that has a disappointed and disgusted look on his face, just like me. I usually try to fight for a seat to avoid holding onto the contaminated bars, but never succeed as the orient always seem to snatch them up. Last week this girl got sick and threw up all over the floor. Relief washed over me in an awesome wave as my $400 Ferragamo loafers and $2,000 Armani suit were just missed by this woman's vile puke. If she were a company I would threaten a hostile takeover in the hopes that she would take a poison pill and die.
I am dreading tomorrow's subway ride, the only thing that gets me through it is my 80GB iPod and Brickbreaker on my crackberry. I am on level 32, there better not be any distractions on the train from hell so I can fucking beat this thing.
The dirty NYC subway system is full of hipsters and thugs, two types of people I would never associate with. The only relief I get is seeing the banker with the Goldman Sachs mini-duffel that has a disappointed and disgusted look on his face, just like me. I usually try to fight for a seat to avoid holding onto the contaminated bars, but never succeed as the orient always seem to snatch them up. Last week this girl got sick and threw up all over the floor. Relief washed over me in an awesome wave as my $400 Ferragamo loafers and $2,000 Armani suit were just missed by this woman's vile puke. If she were a company I would threaten a hostile takeover in the hopes that she would take a poison pill and die.
I am dreading tomorrow's subway ride, the only thing that gets me through it is my 80GB iPod and Brickbreaker on my crackberry. I am on level 32, there better not be any distractions on the train from hell so I can fucking beat this thing.
Introduction
Call me Patrick. I am a first year analyst at a very prestigious firm on wall street (I still don't know how I have time to write this). I work in the Mergers & Aquisitions department of the IBD, and it is the fucking grind. This blog of sorts will be an escape for me from preparing pitchbooks and working financial models all day and all night. Every word that will grace this page is 100% true, I don't care how satirical you think it may be. Sorry to cut this short, I have to go work out at the company gym then read American Pyscho, an Investment Banker's bible, for the 8th time.
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